I was reflecting on the art of blogging and this just came at me: I have to give a picture of who I really am. How can anyone really understand my walk unless they have a picture of my adversities. You cannot preach STAND if you haven't been attacked. T.D. Jakes said, "How are you going to show power if you're not under attack?"
Yet before I go on...you must know that if you are reading my blogs to try to harm me, then you will be sadly disappointed.
Matthew 10:26
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
1 Peter 3:13-14
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."
Hebrews 13:6
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
Psalm 118:6, 7
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.
I grew up in a very confusing, dysfunctional situation that in the end I am very grateful for. My parents were divorced when I was 2. So, I spent a lot of time between my two sets of grandparents. I always referred to them as the city and country grandparents. My city grandparents were educated and lived in a nice rock home, were members of the country club, and ate holiday meals on china. They took me on airplane rides to wonderful locations and taught me manners as well as presentation and generosity.
My grandmother, an RN, taught me what it meant to be a servant. She had a servant heart like no other, while my grandpa was a social butterfly who didn't know any strangers and was always very generous. I spent every other weekend and most summer visitations with them. I cannot express my love and fond memories for them enough.
My country grandparents might have finished high school and worked very hard. My granny worked at a local factory throwing around heavy pieces of leather, and my papa was a dairy and ranch manager. Their home was always filled with a ton of grandkids, yeast based food (yum!), and entertainment that focused on time together. They loved unconditionally.
I traveled between those two environments learning when to share my town experiences and when not to; town experiences often displayed a little wealth (by small town standards). What was confusing was going home.
I knew what it was like to have to eat government cheese. I watched our furniture and car get repossessed and lived in many trailers, old rent houses, and "nice homes" like a revolving carousel of home lifes. Money came in quickly and left even faster. I would take care of my little brother and sister when my mom would be in her room with a headache (on valium) for 2-3 days. It was hard.
I knew what it was like to be responsible for the maintenance of a home from 1st grade on. I made decisions and gave advice to a parent who just was not equipped (she was suffering, but I did not know that at the time). I knew what it was like to be punched around. I knew what it was like to be the outcast step-child. I knew what it was like to have someone in your household take too much of an interest in your developing body. I knew when the home environment was no longer going to be safe for me. I knew when I was 13 that I had to find a different place to stay.
My country grandparents offered for me to live with them. I liked the school and my friends in that town; so, I moved "home".
My city grandpa got very sick when I was 14; I would still go visit and help my grandma by sitting with Grandpa while she bowled or rested. Grandpa's illness changed their circumstances very quickly. I knew that I would be on my own paying for college (education from my standpoint was the key to getting "out"). So, I lived in the country and began working at a local restaurant at age 15 to "pay my own way".
My country papa got leukemia my senior year of high school. I had to start thinking about where to live once I graduated. God always provided me with a place to stay. (Yes, I understand what it really means to stay here, there, or wherever.) I wanted to keep my job at the local restaurant; so, I came home every weekend to work. I stayed with a close friend and her family for 1 year. Then, another friend gave me access to her grandparents' old home (which was horribly rat infested...if you zip up real tight in a sleeping bag, it's usually ok..).
On really cold nights, my boss and her husband would make me stay at their house.
After I got pregnant in college, I went to stay a little while with my dad until I had my baby. Then, I tried staying with guy A's parents for a few days. I stayed at my town grandma's for a few days. I stayed with close friends who were newly married until God sent me a little home for free courtesy of a wonderful family in my home town. I stayed there until husband 1 and I bought a home.
I know what it's like to be hungry. I know what it's like to have no money, no food, and little hope. Yet, God always brought someone along to minister to me. He always sent a way for me to make a little extra money. He sent people to encourage me along the hard, winding road.
I usually worked 3 or 4 jobs during college: always hometown restaurant, 2 jobs on campus for 10 hrs each, and the youth service bureau (taught fitness classes or helped the kids with homework after school each day). I have never been afraid of hard work. My first teaching job was a blessing! It was great to have 1 job even if I did teach summer school. It seemed like I just couldn't make ends meet with day care costs; so, I started teaching fitness classes at night. I took a job life guarding and teaching water aerobics during the summer.
I took a job proctoring college classes... It seems like I have always been taking extra jobs in order to provide or get "out" or have a "better" life for my children. I was operating under the culture of poverty, though I didn't know it. Likewise, I was operating under Satan's lie to me which was "You have to do better for your children than what was done for you."
Now, it is very important to note what drove me into public education when I wanted to "get out". It wasn't the "summer vacation"! No. When I was in elementary school, I learned that if you were smart (and praise God I was) that you got a lot of praise. I learned that life for the smart kid in the elementary school was wonderful. All those nice ladies up there would hug you, and smile, and tell you nice things. Those ladies had no idea what my home life was like. I was a very good little actress. Yet, it wasn't so for other children at school.
The point being is this, I knew that going into public education was not going to make me wealthy or allow me to jet all over the US or be a member of the country club. I went into public education because I wanted to work with children like me (not white like me but dysfunctional like me...:). God placed the calling on my heart to work with children regardless of how "smart" or socially connected they were.
He equipped me with experiences that most of the kids couldn't top. Other than having a parent in jail or being sexually molested, there is not much that I have not experienced and came out on the other side from. Likewise, I could teach some of the social kids a little about humility, generosity, and loving others more than yourself from and through and regardless of your prosperity.
Working in the public education system is a choice. If you want to work with rich, white kids, go work in a private school. If you are willing to get in the trenches with kids who may not come from a home like yours or be the same color as you or even believe in the same God, then you are in the right business.
The push for leadership, that was a greater calling that God laid on me for another blog.
No adversity is too great. Nothing is bigger than our God. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. He has and will equip you for the calling that he has placed on you in your personal and professional life.
STAND! Keep the Faith!
Yet before I go on...you must know that if you are reading my blogs to try to harm me, then you will be sadly disappointed.
Matthew 10:26
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be known.
2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
1 Peter 3:13-14
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened."
Hebrews 13:6
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
Psalm 118:6, 7
The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.
I grew up in a very confusing, dysfunctional situation that in the end I am very grateful for. My parents were divorced when I was 2. So, I spent a lot of time between my two sets of grandparents. I always referred to them as the city and country grandparents. My city grandparents were educated and lived in a nice rock home, were members of the country club, and ate holiday meals on china. They took me on airplane rides to wonderful locations and taught me manners as well as presentation and generosity.
My grandmother, an RN, taught me what it meant to be a servant. She had a servant heart like no other, while my grandpa was a social butterfly who didn't know any strangers and was always very generous. I spent every other weekend and most summer visitations with them. I cannot express my love and fond memories for them enough.
My country grandparents might have finished high school and worked very hard. My granny worked at a local factory throwing around heavy pieces of leather, and my papa was a dairy and ranch manager. Their home was always filled with a ton of grandkids, yeast based food (yum!), and entertainment that focused on time together. They loved unconditionally.
I traveled between those two environments learning when to share my town experiences and when not to; town experiences often displayed a little wealth (by small town standards). What was confusing was going home.
I knew what it was like to have to eat government cheese. I watched our furniture and car get repossessed and lived in many trailers, old rent houses, and "nice homes" like a revolving carousel of home lifes. Money came in quickly and left even faster. I would take care of my little brother and sister when my mom would be in her room with a headache (on valium) for 2-3 days. It was hard.
I knew what it was like to be responsible for the maintenance of a home from 1st grade on. I made decisions and gave advice to a parent who just was not equipped (she was suffering, but I did not know that at the time). I knew what it was like to be punched around. I knew what it was like to be the outcast step-child. I knew what it was like to have someone in your household take too much of an interest in your developing body. I knew when the home environment was no longer going to be safe for me. I knew when I was 13 that I had to find a different place to stay.
My country grandparents offered for me to live with them. I liked the school and my friends in that town; so, I moved "home".
My city grandpa got very sick when I was 14; I would still go visit and help my grandma by sitting with Grandpa while she bowled or rested. Grandpa's illness changed their circumstances very quickly. I knew that I would be on my own paying for college (education from my standpoint was the key to getting "out"). So, I lived in the country and began working at a local restaurant at age 15 to "pay my own way".
My country papa got leukemia my senior year of high school. I had to start thinking about where to live once I graduated. God always provided me with a place to stay. (Yes, I understand what it really means to stay here, there, or wherever.) I wanted to keep my job at the local restaurant; so, I came home every weekend to work. I stayed with a close friend and her family for 1 year. Then, another friend gave me access to her grandparents' old home (which was horribly rat infested...if you zip up real tight in a sleeping bag, it's usually ok..).
On really cold nights, my boss and her husband would make me stay at their house.
After I got pregnant in college, I went to stay a little while with my dad until I had my baby. Then, I tried staying with guy A's parents for a few days. I stayed at my town grandma's for a few days. I stayed with close friends who were newly married until God sent me a little home for free courtesy of a wonderful family in my home town. I stayed there until husband 1 and I bought a home.
I know what it's like to be hungry. I know what it's like to have no money, no food, and little hope. Yet, God always brought someone along to minister to me. He always sent a way for me to make a little extra money. He sent people to encourage me along the hard, winding road.
I usually worked 3 or 4 jobs during college: always hometown restaurant, 2 jobs on campus for 10 hrs each, and the youth service bureau (taught fitness classes or helped the kids with homework after school each day). I have never been afraid of hard work. My first teaching job was a blessing! It was great to have 1 job even if I did teach summer school. It seemed like I just couldn't make ends meet with day care costs; so, I started teaching fitness classes at night. I took a job life guarding and teaching water aerobics during the summer.
I took a job proctoring college classes... It seems like I have always been taking extra jobs in order to provide or get "out" or have a "better" life for my children. I was operating under the culture of poverty, though I didn't know it. Likewise, I was operating under Satan's lie to me which was "You have to do better for your children than what was done for you."
Now, it is very important to note what drove me into public education when I wanted to "get out". It wasn't the "summer vacation"! No. When I was in elementary school, I learned that if you were smart (and praise God I was) that you got a lot of praise. I learned that life for the smart kid in the elementary school was wonderful. All those nice ladies up there would hug you, and smile, and tell you nice things. Those ladies had no idea what my home life was like. I was a very good little actress. Yet, it wasn't so for other children at school.
The point being is this, I knew that going into public education was not going to make me wealthy or allow me to jet all over the US or be a member of the country club. I went into public education because I wanted to work with children like me (not white like me but dysfunctional like me...:). God placed the calling on my heart to work with children regardless of how "smart" or socially connected they were.
He equipped me with experiences that most of the kids couldn't top. Other than having a parent in jail or being sexually molested, there is not much that I have not experienced and came out on the other side from. Likewise, I could teach some of the social kids a little about humility, generosity, and loving others more than yourself from and through and regardless of your prosperity.
Working in the public education system is a choice. If you want to work with rich, white kids, go work in a private school. If you are willing to get in the trenches with kids who may not come from a home like yours or be the same color as you or even believe in the same God, then you are in the right business.
The push for leadership, that was a greater calling that God laid on me for another blog.
No adversity is too great. Nothing is bigger than our God. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. He has and will equip you for the calling that he has placed on you in your personal and professional life.
STAND! Keep the Faith!
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